In memory of Lord Paddy Ashdown

Politics is indeed a very tribal business, and tonight, my tribe is grieving. Paddy Ashdown was already a hero to me, but when I met him a few months ago I was in already in awe when he gifted me some time and some extremely kind, encouraging, inspiring and hilarious words. He delivered this pep talk with his trademark cutting wit, dry humour and gung ho attitude. So sane, so direct, so clear in his observations, so willing to help. You can see by my face how he had the power to just make a person feel fantastic and moreover, he made us feel brave. He made a point of introducing his amazing wife Jane, for whom we are all feeling so much tonight. He tried in vain to get her to join us in this photo, and his adoration of her was so evident. Paddy was a legend, his quirks are the stuff of folklore within our tribe and the world is richer for his service to it, both as a Marine and in politics. Crying as I write this, but if anyone deserves a really great rest, it’s him. I’ll always remember this last full moon of 2018 as Paddy’s moon, and I’ll whisper a prayer that we can all find some of the stuff that he was made of. He was the best of us.

Your spirit, lover

No you’re not a project

You’re perfect as you are

There’s magic in your mess

And dark between your stars

Your universe can balance

Without its tenterhooks

You’ve left yourself the clues

In the margins of my books

You can read my pages slowly

You wrote them anyway

Though I cut out and rearranged them

Your spirit, lover, stayed.

On grief.

I love this time of year. November is my favourite month. I love Samhain and Remembrance Sunday and the turning of the seasons. I love the dark nights and the crisp mornings and the woodsmoke. Facebook memories tells me that 7 years ago today, Paul and Ally and I went on a pilgrimage to remember dad. Along the way we stopped at the Rod & Line pub in Tideford to see the plaque they put up for him. I think that the fact that I know my birthday (24th Dec), Christmas and the anniversary of his death (the night of 26th Dec) are right around the corner helps me to love November. I know that the hardest time of my year is right in front of me and somehow that makes me extra grateful for November. This wasn’t always the case, grief never leaves you, but it changes. Time can do almost anything, and I think that November reminds me how much is possible and how far we’ve come. Perhaps this pilgrimage 7 years ago helped with this. 

Over the next few weeks, let’s remember that for many people, the prospect of Christmas brings up grief and loneliness and let’s be gentle with each other.

 

Did you dance on the beach today?

Mum (just now, without a hint of self-consciousness): Did you dance on the beach today?

Me: No? What makes you think I may have danced on the beach?

Mum: Well - you were there by the waves and you took a video of them.

Me (laughing): Why does that mean I danced on the beach? Is that how you see me? That I just go to places and start dancing?

Mum (also laughing now): Well, no...I suppose that's what I do.

Me (laughing even harder): Yes.

Mum (a little indignant): Well you were with Julia's heart! 

Me (still laughing): Her family home is there. We walked around the cliffs to Harlyn and back. I did sing a bit, but we didn't dance on the beach. I love how you think that's the logical thing to do in this situation.

Mum: I just do a lot of dancing. 

She's such a legend. ✨😍 

Winter in the Valley✨🍂🍁

The light is as yellow and low as the sun

And I notice the length of shadows

The tribe hunkers in

To snuggle, eat and sing

And anticipate Yuletide to follow

The village is hushed, the tourists have gone

The air smells of woodsmoke at night

Hugs become bumper 

Through layers of jumpers

And the frost turns the moorland to white

The biggest night out of the tribal year 

Samhain, we dance and we laugh

We whoop and scream 

And let off our steam

And gossip in the aftermath 

Then Remembrance for boys who gave up their lives 

Our own chief, we’ll all hug him tight

Remembering when 

His brave absent friends

Sat proud to his left and his right

The seasons turn prompt in this here red valley 

Our Green Man has long since retired

Indian Summer’s

Officially over

When the landlord lights the pub fire

Softness and wool and velvet and sparkle✨

With a party dress worn underneath

The valley has mist

The air starts to nip 

Gathering greenery for my Yule wreath

Reunions, euphoria, stories and smiles 

Been upcountry but ended back here

Take stock with our kin

I’ll get the drinks in

We made it! To another year!

🍂🎃🍄🍁 

Kedgeree

Mother mine

Port Isaac maid

A tribute

To the life you gave 

You gave your love

Your magick life

To raise and guide

This awkward sprite

Made kedgeree 

To keep me strong

And when I sang

You heard my song

Paused your busy

Sat on your knees

To see my latest

Masterpiece

You wisely saw

Inherited smarts

Couldn’t compensate 

For a kind heart

Showed me that

The spirit world

Owed nothing to this

Loudmouthed girl

Create my own

Is what you prayed

Make it happen

Don’t be afraid

Responsibility

Didn’t always come

But you persisted 

Brave, tired mum

To know myself

You showed the need

For integrity

Thought, word and deed

You taught me manners

And not to blame

Be accountable

And hold others the same 

Invisible 

To all but you

My teens felt hard

We made it through

And now a woman

Here I stand

Sculpted by

Your artists’ hand 

Your music, magic

To me you give

A role model

Of a life well lived 

Your ear is there

And always was

Never reproach

Simply love

No matter the word

The deed or thought

You never judged

But always taught

I rebelled against

Your hippie ways

Went to the city

Tried “straight-laced”

But now contrite

My soul and bones 

Have returned to our 

Ancestral home 

Now Ma I find

Your Cornish song

Your way was my way

All along

And I consider

With clearer sight

That maybe mother 

Was always right!

Full Wolf Moon January 2017

Having lived by a tidal river for nearly half of my life (the River Tiddy/St. Germans Estuary and then in the Tamar Valley), like most people in those areas, I have a healthy respect for and connection to the moon.

A full moon high tide is very often something to behold, if not something to be warned about. Emotionally, a full moon can lead to all kinds of mischief within a tribe. Just as the Farmers Almanac thinks the moon is relevant for the best times to grow things, we need to pay more attention to it in our own lives. The moon features in every religion, and it moves our water in huge ways, every day, every month, every year. And remember, we are 78% water. So whatever your religious persuasion, the effect of the moon will be felt, so I think we should talk about it.

I pride myself in being a fairly logical person, but I'm also very intuitive, so I am moved to write about this full moon based on my own experiences/observations of nature and based on research, reading and listening to other moon-watchers, nature lovers and empaths talk about it. There is just not enough information around on this. I wish we had more writing about the full moons and less about the zodiac.

Wolf Moon

The Full Wolf Moon in January was traditionally called this by Native tribes based (as all their traditions are) entirely upon the observation of nature. The weather is bitter and the wolves are howling outside of the village for food. It was also called the old moon, the cooking moon, the quiet moon or the ice moon, depending on which tribe you were (on both sides of the Atlantic).

It's a time for reflection, protection, intuition and recuperation. You may naturally feel the need to sleep more during these short days and build up your health and energy post Yule, pre-Spring. It's often a time that the most physically hard-working among us rest a little and as a result, their body relaxes and they get sick - picking up whatever is going around their tribe. If that is you, REST MORE. Even if it is not you, take this time to be still and restful.

Recuperation - The Old Moon

Anything you may be feeling - low moods, existential tension or anxiety - can be explained by the time of year. It is not a good time of year for control freaks. If you try to fight the Wolf Moon and power on through without slowing down and practicing some self care, it will set the tone for you for the next 2-3 more moons ahead, and you'll be on the backfoot trying to catch your breath and refill your energy reserves. Prioritise rest and steady progress now.

Reflection - The Ice Moon

I say steady progress because the Native theme of the Full Wolf Moon is traditionally "Man vs Himself". Because there will be no harvest or plants for a long while, people and animals are naturally anxious, tired and the weather is cold. The lack of vegetation affects the whole food chain. This time takes an awful lot of mental resilience to keep going. You'll be tested by everyone else's low energy, low ebb and low moods. Hope may be low in those closest to you. But do keep steady. Keep plodding on with the wind in your face and the snow at your paws like the wolf. A hard new year exercise regime or extreme work on new ventures is not for now. Any attempt to light a fire under yourself just now is likely to end in you burning out quickly and spectacularly like a firework. Light a steady burning candle or a fire and pray.

Protection - The Cooking Moon

As the tribe hunkers down to rest and get through the month, we feel a sense of protectiveness, like a wolf mother and her pups. Use this time to connect and be gentle with your loved ones - eat nice, comforting food. Do not be neurotic about your health, and certainly not about your weight at this time of year. Forgive your loved ones everything. Now isn't the time for conflict or self service. Huddle for warmth. It will aid your recuperation.

Also, part of this protection is the need to let go of whatever or whomever did not serve you last year. Avoid those people (don't confront them - that comes later in the year). Take time for yourself, and huddle with those who make you feel peaceful, or with whom you can easily reach a state of peace with some forgiveness or humility on your part.

The practical part of protection is to prepare your home and your tribe for the year ahead. Organise your finances, check your smoke alarms, plan your holidays and festivals, buy furniture or lovely home luxuries in the sales. Because this isn't the time for production or plenty, purchase any essentials to help you to earn your money and enjoy yourself this year (workwear, swimwear etc.) and get the car serviced. Be grateful for it all and keep shopping trips short, and screen time low. This is recuperation time.

Intuition - The Quiet Moon

You will naturally feel your wildness is very close to the surface this month. You may have more dreams and you may find yourself thinking about your favourite natural place. The wolf is primal and hungry at this time of year. Don't let this become anger - don't snarl. Make love not war, as your sex drive may increase. Indulge it. Make as much love as you possibly can. It'll aid your connection with others, open your soul, help you recuperate and be strong, and it will aid circulation and keep you warm! As I said - huddle for warmth! This is a particularly sexy moon, so if single, you'll find that flirtation and promiscuity may surround you. It's ok, don't overthink it - people just want someone to huddle with! It's no coincidence that September is the most common month for birthdays - November, December and January are peak baby making months!

Also, whatever your spiritual persuasion, pray. Because your wildness is prevalent, your intuition is piqued and your connection to the spirit world is strong. Sit by the fire, pray and listen to what you are being told.

Finally, it may sound counter-intuitive for the recuperation month, but a few solitary leisurely walks (wrap up!) on high ground will actually aid your healing towards the end of the month. You are transforming as you recuperate, so let your old skin be blown away up on high ground. You'll also find that, like a lone wolf, the solitude on these walks helps you recharge, so you can go back to camp and get back to connecting, cuddling, cooking and lovemaking!